I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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