Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
