It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
