I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
