Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I love you. Go after that dick
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
