? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
