If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
