I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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