If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
