It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
