She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
