the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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