took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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