Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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