At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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