So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
