Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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