he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
