Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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