Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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