I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
