Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
