He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
