Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
