Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
