How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
