There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
