Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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