so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
