she was so not down for the gang bang
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
