I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she smelled like a LAN party
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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