I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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