Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
