Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
