That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
