I haven't been this sober since birth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
