Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
