so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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