I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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