My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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