My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
