she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
