She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
