Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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