I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
