whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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