erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
