Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
