you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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