i think i have two assholes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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