the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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