I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
