all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
